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Humor - Have a laugh

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by dave, Jun 29, 2009.

  1. dave

    dave Well-Known Member

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    --- Security Alert Level Raised ---
    The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been recategorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.

    Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

    Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

    And at a local level... New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Australia will come end riscue us". In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position called "Bondi".

    Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation level.
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  2. hawkeye

    hawkeye New Member

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    I like waking up and laughing thanks Dave <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_roll.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling LoL" /><!-- s:roll: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
     
  3. Fergus1

    Fergus1 New Member

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    hahaha, this is so funny, thanks for posting dave!
     

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