a trio of nuns in a bus go over a cliff, wind up at the pearly gates... they bash away at the gates and st peter comes investigating... "ere, let us in" they cry... "ey, we cant just let you come barging in, we gotta ask you some questions and make sure youre all truly pious first..." so the first one steps up... "right, whats the first mans name?" "errrm... adam?" says the nun. trumpets blow, and the gates open, in she goes. second in line approaches... "now, whats the first womans name?" "ummmm... eve?" trumpets blow, the gates open up, and in goes the second nun. the final nun nervously approaches... "so, what was the first thing eve said to adam?" asks st peter. "ohhh... gee. thats a hard one..." trumpets blow and the gates open... _____________________ two old vets at the RSL, talking of the old days... "larry, you remember how they gave us those pills in the army, to keep our minds off the girls?" "awe hell, sid... vaguely...?" "i think theyre starting to work..." _______________________________ MAKE YOUR LOCAL MP WORK! dont re-elect them. ___________________________ theres no alcohol in Iran... but you can get stoned anytime. smoking shortens your cigarettes. death is natures way of telling you to slow down...
old guys sitting at the bar crying his eyes out. "married this young girl... shes intelligent, gorgeous, funny, she can cook, she keeps the house tidy, and shes wild in the sack..." "sounds like a keeper, fred," says the bartender "but why are you crying?" "i cant remember where i live!" _______________________________________________ fred finally remembers where he lives, jumps in the rolls... as he's parking out the front, young kid in his ricebox pinches his spot... "gotta be young and smart to do that, pops" shouts the youth fred shrugs and just keeps parking... crunch... "you gotta be old and rich to do that, kiddo..." __________________________ ahhhh, to be young again... complain about nothing to do but stay out all night doing it... ______________________________________ if the missus wants to learn to drive... dont stand in her way!
